Amazing Grace
It was a practice that was first introduced to me outside of the bustle of Sydney Australia. I was traveling alone and found myself called to a yoga retreat in the middle of the lush and lively forest about an hour outside of the city. A billabong streamed below the center, attracting all types of animals that were very unfamiliar to me. The sounds of these animals filled every moment of silence, like a classroom of children yelling to each other from across the room. I was a guest in this forest, living amongst the communities of birds that invincibly weaved in and out of the trees. Their calls created a backdrop that guided me through every moment of my day here.
The practice is a walking meditation. It isn’t a natural one in the slightest but it is powerful. It consists of an attuned focus on your breath, as most meditations do. As you take your first step, you invite a deep inhale into your lungs, and you notice it begin to fill up every open space of your body. You tune into the weight you have just, so unconsciously, transferred into the heel of your naked, leading foot. You feel your weight slowly move forward in your foot, as you continue to exert a downward force into the earth below you. You notice the texture of the earth, the hard or soft ground that pushes back up into your foot. Your breath reaches every point of your body, and you slowly exhale as your next foot rolls off the ground behind you and begins its journey forward.
Like I said, this practice is not natural. It forces you to confront every transfer of energy, of momentum, of weight, that you have grown completely oblivious to. It forces you to slow down, to let go of the reigns and to just be. It emphasizes the journey instead of the destination. Throughout this practice, you are not focused on where you are going, but how you are getting there. You silence the mind and to tune into the aspects of our beautiful bodies that we take advantage of every second of every day.
Fast forward to the present day.
I roll out of my room, a space of comfort and control, and walk into the forest surrounding the guesthouse I am staying in. I am in Northern Ghana, a few miles away from the beautiful Mole National Park. I have been living in Bolgatanga for the past 6 weeks working alongside artisans and a wonderful social enterprise called All Across Africa. As I venture out of my room, I pass a dog lying on the ground outside our guesthouse. I stop and stare at it, wishing it would run to me like dogs back home would but knowing that this dog has a different purpose, a purpose of protection. Its life here looks much different than that of my dog back home. This idea, the relativity of purpose based on environment, has come up many, many times since my being here.
As my gaze passed this dog, I was struck by the utter brilliance of the greens and browns that painted the canvas of the forest in front of me. A moment of utter stillness fell upon me. This feeling has become all too familiar throughout my time in Bolga, but this moment was different. There was a feeling of connection and oneness that surfaced in me that sets it apart from other times. I began walking, stopping when something caught my eye and giving it the moment that I was called to give it. I, again, felt like a guest in an environment full of its own habitats and ecosystems. This feeling of oneness is so lost in our world today, and this was a moment in which I gave nature the reverence and respect that we, as humans, fail to give it everyday.
I found myself subconsciously beginning a walking meditation. I had no end destination. There was no outcome that I was hoping for, no one to seek out and no motive. I slowed down, breathing in as i reached my first foot out in front of me, noticing everything that was happening in my body. The ground beneath me was soft and my foot sunk in as my weight dispersed below me. Breathing out, I transferred my next foot out, slowly moving along. Amazing Grace began to play in my mind and I found the lyrics coming out of my mouth, in a quiet whisper like song, before I could give it much thought.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I felt tears fill my eyes, but there was no part of me that was upset. Thoughts of my mother, my family, and my comfortable life back home began to surface.
I once was lost, but now I’m found
T’was blind but now I see
My thoughts began to race.
How did I get so lucky?
Why me?
Why not any of the extraordinary men or women that I have spent my time in Bolga with?
What should one do with their privilege?
Is it normal to feel guilty?
Is it normal to turn the other way?
What is the best way to help?
How can I best use my privilege?
Questions like these danced through my head within this moment. It was the first moment I was truly alone since being in Ghana. There was no one waiting on me, no one watching out for me, and no one worried about me. It was the first time that I was able to be vulnerable and honest with myself.
As I slowly walked down this beautiful dirt path, I noticed the sun setting through the trees to my right. I observed the birds flying back to their nests, the dogs and cats prancing through the weeds looking for their dinner. I saw the greens and browns slowly transition into darker shades of their once so vibrant colors. The forest I originally entered was transforming into a completely new forest; new colors, new mannerisms, new moments. I felt overwhelmingly small compared to the baobab trees with trunks the size of a small house that towered over me. My problems, anxieties, and worries of missing the familiar and comfortable evaporated from my mind.
I realized something powerful in this moment, something that is so lost in our world today. Something that I believe is the root of many, many of the problems we are facing. This being, the undeniable connection we share with all beings on this planet. With each other, with animals, with the birds in the sky and the roots below our feet. I realized that we are all the same, more so, I felt that we are all the same. Every mother will do everything in her power to protect her child. Every sibling will fight the other. We teach each other how to be, we follow each other in moments of uncertainty. We love, we connect, and we trust. We are curious, we are timid, and we are uncertain.
We, as humans, have become masters at denying this idea. We embody immense gratitude towards our mothers for bringing us into this world but turn our back on this same love that our universal mother, Earth, has for us. We abuse Mother Nature and all of Her offerings to create short term profits for ourselves. We stamp on Her until she breaks. We extract Her resources at record speeds to survive.
We have created a world where, instead of living in unison with Her, we engage in constant battle with Her. We have started a war that can’t be won, but we are still refusing to see it for what it is.
This moment, walking through the beautiful and untouched space, brought up a lot of ideas and emotions in me. As my time in Bolga continues on, I find myself grappling with questions and emotions such as these. There is not one right answer to any of these questions. I sure don’t have them. But I have chosen not to turn my back to these issues and instead, to face them head on and offer whatever I have in me to foster these much needed moments of mutual respect and togetherness. Bolga has shown me that we can only do what is in our power to do. We all have struggles, obstacles, and mountains to climb. We all have dreams of brighter and healthier futures. We all love our mothers and cherish our fathers. The color of our skin, or the journeys of our past do not separate us from one another. Instead, it unites us. We all share feelings of loss and of grief. We all cry, we all question the world around us and we all feel lost. We share all of this with each other, no matter the number in your bank account or your years of education. We are all human.
Once we embody this, I truly believe that we can do beautiful things with our time here.
….and grace will lead us home.
The practice is a walking meditation. It isn’t a natural one in the slightest but it is powerful. It consists of an attuned focus on your breath, as most meditations do. As you take your first step, you invite a deep inhale into your lungs, and you notice it begin to fill up every open space of your body. You tune into the weight you have just, so unconsciously, transferred into the heel of your naked, leading foot. You feel your weight slowly move forward in your foot, as you continue to exert a downward force into the earth below you. You notice the texture of the earth, the hard or soft ground that pushes back up into your foot. Your breath reaches every point of your body, and you slowly exhale as your next foot rolls off the ground behind you and begins its journey forward.
Like I said, this practice is not natural. It forces you to confront every transfer of energy, of momentum, of weight, that you have grown completely oblivious to. It forces you to slow down, to let go of the reigns and to just be. It emphasizes the journey instead of the destination. Throughout this practice, you are not focused on where you are going, but how you are getting there. You silence the mind and to tune into the aspects of our beautiful bodies that we take advantage of every second of every day.
Fast forward to the present day.
I roll out of my room, a space of comfort and control, and walk into the forest surrounding the guesthouse I am staying in. I am in Northern Ghana, a few miles away from the beautiful Mole National Park. I have been living in Bolgatanga for the past 6 weeks working alongside artisans and a wonderful social enterprise called All Across Africa. As I venture out of my room, I pass a dog lying on the ground outside our guesthouse. I stop and stare at it, wishing it would run to me like dogs back home would but knowing that this dog has a different purpose, a purpose of protection. Its life here looks much different than that of my dog back home. This idea, the relativity of purpose based on environment, has come up many, many times since my being here.
As my gaze passed this dog, I was struck by the utter brilliance of the greens and browns that painted the canvas of the forest in front of me. A moment of utter stillness fell upon me. This feeling has become all too familiar throughout my time in Bolga, but this moment was different. There was a feeling of connection and oneness that surfaced in me that sets it apart from other times. I began walking, stopping when something caught my eye and giving it the moment that I was called to give it. I, again, felt like a guest in an environment full of its own habitats and ecosystems. This feeling of oneness is so lost in our world today, and this was a moment in which I gave nature the reverence and respect that we, as humans, fail to give it everyday.
I found myself subconsciously beginning a walking meditation. I had no end destination. There was no outcome that I was hoping for, no one to seek out and no motive. I slowed down, breathing in as i reached my first foot out in front of me, noticing everything that was happening in my body. The ground beneath me was soft and my foot sunk in as my weight dispersed below me. Breathing out, I transferred my next foot out, slowly moving along. Amazing Grace began to play in my mind and I found the lyrics coming out of my mouth, in a quiet whisper like song, before I could give it much thought.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I felt tears fill my eyes, but there was no part of me that was upset. Thoughts of my mother, my family, and my comfortable life back home began to surface.
I once was lost, but now I’m found
T’was blind but now I see
My thoughts began to race.
How did I get so lucky?
Why me?
Why not any of the extraordinary men or women that I have spent my time in Bolga with?
What should one do with their privilege?
Is it normal to feel guilty?
Is it normal to turn the other way?
What is the best way to help?
How can I best use my privilege?
Questions like these danced through my head within this moment. It was the first moment I was truly alone since being in Ghana. There was no one waiting on me, no one watching out for me, and no one worried about me. It was the first time that I was able to be vulnerable and honest with myself.
As I slowly walked down this beautiful dirt path, I noticed the sun setting through the trees to my right. I observed the birds flying back to their nests, the dogs and cats prancing through the weeds looking for their dinner. I saw the greens and browns slowly transition into darker shades of their once so vibrant colors. The forest I originally entered was transforming into a completely new forest; new colors, new mannerisms, new moments. I felt overwhelmingly small compared to the baobab trees with trunks the size of a small house that towered over me. My problems, anxieties, and worries of missing the familiar and comfortable evaporated from my mind.
I realized something powerful in this moment, something that is so lost in our world today. Something that I believe is the root of many, many of the problems we are facing. This being, the undeniable connection we share with all beings on this planet. With each other, with animals, with the birds in the sky and the roots below our feet. I realized that we are all the same, more so, I felt that we are all the same. Every mother will do everything in her power to protect her child. Every sibling will fight the other. We teach each other how to be, we follow each other in moments of uncertainty. We love, we connect, and we trust. We are curious, we are timid, and we are uncertain.
We, as humans, have become masters at denying this idea. We embody immense gratitude towards our mothers for bringing us into this world but turn our back on this same love that our universal mother, Earth, has for us. We abuse Mother Nature and all of Her offerings to create short term profits for ourselves. We stamp on Her until she breaks. We extract Her resources at record speeds to survive.
We have created a world where, instead of living in unison with Her, we engage in constant battle with Her. We have started a war that can’t be won, but we are still refusing to see it for what it is.
This moment, walking through the beautiful and untouched space, brought up a lot of ideas and emotions in me. As my time in Bolga continues on, I find myself grappling with questions and emotions such as these. There is not one right answer to any of these questions. I sure don’t have them. But I have chosen not to turn my back to these issues and instead, to face them head on and offer whatever I have in me to foster these much needed moments of mutual respect and togetherness. Bolga has shown me that we can only do what is in our power to do. We all have struggles, obstacles, and mountains to climb. We all have dreams of brighter and healthier futures. We all love our mothers and cherish our fathers. The color of our skin, or the journeys of our past do not separate us from one another. Instead, it unites us. We all share feelings of loss and of grief. We all cry, we all question the world around us and we all feel lost. We share all of this with each other, no matter the number in your bank account or your years of education. We are all human.
Once we embody this, I truly believe that we can do beautiful things with our time here.
….and grace will lead us home.